im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize