You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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