Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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