Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
