I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize