Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
