just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He has the fingertips of a God
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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