You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
