btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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