I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
