my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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