Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So much rum. So many feels.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ππ
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Iβm at that point in my trip where Iβm kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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