I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
And then he peed in my hair
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