Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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