they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
