I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
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He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
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I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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