Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
