He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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