i was born a porn star she said
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize