We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
