If i come over, it means nothing
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize