Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
