His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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