This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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