Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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