I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize