I've blown a few things in my day
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
