you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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