and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
