The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
