your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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