Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
