For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize