You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
