The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
