woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize