btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
