in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
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Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
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I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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