I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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