apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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