it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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