Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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