Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
