I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
