I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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