I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
