y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
