it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
