How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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