I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize