Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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