I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
