i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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