Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
