I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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