so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
